Ihab Salloum[ad_1]
**I Wish I Had the Email Address of Every Man…**
I **wish** I had the email address of every man that is involved with a woman that misunderstands him. I would email this article to him and tell him to pin it up in a strategic place so the woman in his life would be forced to read it regularly. Hopefully, after being subjected to reading this laminated article in the shower multiple times, she would begin to realize that her man isn’t as boorish as she thinks.
Unfortunately, there is a **HUGE** understanding-gap between men and women. Without mutual effort, this gap will widen into an impassable chasm. I applaud **ANY** woman that will take the time to read and react to this article. It means that she is astute enough to realize that she has a lot to learn about the male species, and concerned enough to study. I’m writing on this topic because I’m passionate about it. I know how it feels to make your best attempt at living honestly, only to have it met with a level of suspicion and skepticism. Eventually, despondency sets in and thwarts any effort to reveal the genuine and authentic you.
Please comment on this article. Your feedback could buttress the validity of these points and help an ailing relationship. Thank you!
**1. I Need Your Support**
**Cheerleaders** are a quintessential part of any sporting experience. Without the choreographed gyrations of the lovely ladies on the sidelines, watching a live game would be incomplete. Most casual fans don’t realize that cheerleaders actually serve two purposes. Not only do they provide entertainment and eye candy for the crowd, but they also supply moral support to the team. This is critical particularly when the team is playing an away game and they’re facing a hostile crowd. Unfortunately, there are a large number of men that feel like every day they wake up is an away game. Their hostile crowd is made up of bosses, baby mammas, and if they’re black…the majority of society. Home should be their end zone and not simply an extension of the opposing team’s territory. A winning environment for a man MUST include a willing cheerleader that chants when he scores a touchdown and chants louder when he fumbles. Men long to know that when they look to the sidelines, they’ll see a rooting section, even if that rooting section consists of only one remarkable woman.
**2. I Don’t Talk Like You Do**
The next time you read a newspaper, examine the difference between the headlines and fine print. You’ll quickly discover that headlines are **big, bold, and concise** while the fine print is smaller, more detailed and extensive. The headlines and fine print in a newspaper offer a great example of how most men and women communicate. Men communicate in headlines, while women communicate in fine print. Men will say: MY DAY WAS GOOD, THE DINNER WAS DELICIOUS, YOUR DRESS IS NICE. Women will go into great detail about the intricacies of the day, dinner, and dress. Neither the man nor the woman is communicating incorrectly, they’re just communicating differently. The argument erupts when the woman interprets the man’s lack of elaboration as a sign that he’s uninterested in her day, dinner, or dress. This scenario is tragic yet common and it causes men to shut down in exasperation. Noted neuropsychiatrist Dr. Louann Brizendine is an expert on the male and female brain (I will refer to her research again in this article). In her book The Female Brain she cited that women speak 250 words per minute versus the 125 words a minute that are typical for men. She also stated that a woman uses 20,000 words per day, while a man uses only 7,000. This should pretty much sum it up! A woman needs to understand that if she forces her man to communicate like she does, though he may acquiesce, he’ll loathe every conversation they have and look for ways to avoid them.
**3. I’m NOT A Sexual Deviant**
I am going to disclose a secret about most men that will shock most women. Ready? MEN ARE PREOCCUPIED WITH SEX! Ladies, are you shocked? Hopefully, every woman reading this article is chuckling at the sheer obviousness of that revelation. Women know that men are fixated with sex, but they don’t know to what extent. In studying the male brain, Dr. Louann Brizendine discovered that most men think about sex every 52 seconds! Did you get that? Not even a full minute goes by before men are delving into sexually-charged thinking. Men are forced to subdue this shocking reality because if most women knew how often men contemplated intercourse, they would think all men are perverted sex-addicts. The difference of hormonal influence between men and women has the potential to breed big problems in a relationship. Men tend to view sex as an existential need while women tend to view it as a periodic treat. Women struggle to comprehend why men have such an insatiable appetite for sex and they often label male sexuality as abnormal. Ladies, IT’S NOT ABNORMAL! It’s not abnormal for a man to argue with you all day and attempt to be intimate at night. He can easily separate the emotional from the physical. It’s not abnormal for a man to think your offering of sex every-other-week is ridiculous. It is ridiculous! Rather than maligning your man for being sexually unhealthy, you should appreciate the fact that he’s trying to use his hardware while it’s still operable. Considering that 1 in 6 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer, there might come a day when the script is flipped and he’s the one turning you down.
**4. I Say I Love You Differently**
When a woman hears the words, ‘**I love you**,’ her heart skips a beat. She is automatically translated into a sugarplum and licorice world filled with gushy hearts and hyper-colored rainbows. She floats on cloud nine and never even considers the authenticity of the uttered words. Yes, some men use those meaningful words strategically. They know that in so many cases those words are the keys to unlocking female vulnerability. On the other end of the spectrum, there are men that NEVER say I love you. It’s not that they don’t feel the love; they just don’t effectively express it. Maybe they were raised in environments that exploited any signs of weakness. Maybe no one ever communicated love to them so they have a hard time communicating it to anyone else. In situations like these, women should focus on what a man does rather than what he says. Men communicate love in different ways. Fidelity is the loudest way that men say I love you. If you read point #3, you understand that men are constantly thinking about sex. Sometimes their thoughts lead them to find an outlet in illicit areas. The fact that your man has learned to ignore and/or suppress this urge for you is proof that he’s head over heels. A willingness to provide, lavishing of gifts, a commitment to change the things you hate about him, introducing you to his mother- these are all ways that men show love. Ultimately, women should view love as an action and not simply as an emotion. If he’s consistently proving his love for you, then saying he loves you should be unnecessary.
**5. I Need Someone I Can Confide In**
A tiny bead of perspiration trickled down Walter’s head. He had been dating Felicia for 11 months and as they sat on the phone, he felt prepared to bare his soul and share his deepest secrets. With hesitation, he told Felicia about the time he ended up in jail on a minor drug charge. He told her about the deep depression he slipped into after the murder of his closest friend. He even told her his deepest and most concealed skeleton; when he was 19 he contracted The Clap from a girlfriend. Felicia praised Walter for his candor and when they hung up, Walter actually felt relieved to get everything off of his chest. The next day Walter accompanied Felicia to a gathering at Felicia’s girlfriend’s house. Gabby and Felicia had been friends for eons so it was only natural for Walter to meet her. Upon their arrival, Gabby approached Walter with both arms extended, “**Give me a hug**,” she shouted, “**I’ve heard so much about you**…”
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